German and Austrian Tour: The Rhine Valley: Mum Driving Part 1 (let’s hope there’s a Part 2!!)

I open my eyes wearily. The light beside me is on, and Mum is awake. I wake a little more, and thinking it is a reasonable hour, ask mum what time it is. 2:30am she replies. Shocked to the core, I attempt a return to my slumber. Oh - the joys of jetlag. So, this morning, I have been awake since roughly 3am, and after downloading the photos and writing the blogs from the previous days, I was about ready to start the day, despite it still being dark outside, and no actual German with a proper diurnal rhythm was awake.

So - respectfully - we waited (Annabelle and Emily had risen at about 5:30am) until 6:30 before heading down to what was an enjoyable breakfast. A little morning nap was required before I was ready to face the rest of the day.

In the rain we headed to the Deutsche Borse - the Frankfurt Stock Exchange. While we were about 13 years too late to see the floor trading that used to take place here, we were given an insight into how stock exchanges work - and I now feel ready to buy and trade shares myself!!

We stopped in at a little cafe that was imaginatively titled “Cappucino” - where we got - you guessed it - Cappucinos and Pretzels (tres German - even if my writing style is not…). We couldn’t face the rain for much longer, and the el cheapo umbrellas bought from a Coles in Perth had been unceremoniously thrown in the bin a few hours before - so we headed to a

department store on the Zeil, Frankfurt’s main shopping street. The choice was overwhelming with the cheapest 5 euros all the way up to umbrellas with a carbon fibre frame and specially designed fabric (“over-engineered” Mum declared - which seems to be her new catch cry when something is well designed here - that label had also been given to the Seimens iron that was in our apartment). We chose the mid-range umbrellas, and as we stepped out of the store, Annabelle declared she looked like a “tard” because the rest of us had chosen boring old black/grey umbrellas, while she had chosen a hot pink one with purple spots.

It was time for us to leave Frankfurt, and our trusty car was as per usual there to help us out. It took a little while for us to figure out how to leave the carpark and actually get out of the central city, but once we were out, of the city and on the autobahn we were doing a wildly fast 80kmh. This was fast enough for Mum, who was pretty freaked out. Let me tell you a little about the autobahns reader. Four lanes wide. There is a simply tiered system for these lanes. The right most lane is for the morons who are either too scared to drive at the recommended speed, or whose car is too much of a failure to do so. There is almost no one in this lane. The second right-most lane is for those going at the recommended speed. This lane was also mostly empty. The next lane to the left was for those travelling around 150-160kmh. Most were in this lane. The left most lane was for those who had clearly put a brick on their accelerator and were simply trying to set a new land speed record. Let me tell you reader, it is rather intimidating to go at what you think is a pretty fast speed, and have a Smart Car - yes a Smart Car - overtake you.

We convinced ourselves that our egos did not require us to travel as fast as our car would allow, and quickly pulled of the A-something or rather and decided to take the scenic route to Cologne - along the UNESCO World Heritage listed Rhine Valley.

Now this is a landscape steeped in history, and if it was beautiful in winter, when it was raining, overcast and cold - just imagine the sight to behold in summer! I can now see why boatloads of retirees and seniors now come here every year to marvel at this place. Dotted with various castles, towns and wineries, the Rhine Valley was inscribed onto the UNESCO World Heritage List on 2002, which means there is another site that Mum can cross off her list, and I was careful to make sure that I got a photo of her this time, so that I can put it in her book of all the sites that we’ve been to!

We stopped for lunch in a town called Bacharach (not pronounced like the singer Burt Bacharach, but rather not unlike the 1980s Spanish singing duo Baccara famous for their song “Yes Sir, I Can Boogie - the “young-uns” will have to look them up). A delightful little old town situated on the river, and sandwiched next to the mountains, this was the very essence of the Rhine Valley. Walking through the cobbled streets of Bacharch was an experience of its own, and I’d strongly recommend all whoever go to Germany to travel along the road which we drove today.

We continued along the river, seeing the famous Lorely Rock - where legend has it a beautiful blonde siren would comb her hair and lure sailors to their death on the rock, and past various more ruined and still working castles. A detour into the former capital of the Federal Republic, Bonn yielded little return, as we were lost, and I was more interested in eating pretzels than actually finding our way anywhere in particular. It’s sad for Bonn, being robbed of its originally unlikely status of the capital, as the atmosphere that the city gave off was that it really didn’t know what it was doing anymore. There were few signs around the place, and I’m guessing what had been the embassies where now occupied by companies like Allianz and DHL.

Back on the Autobahns, Mum drove us for Cologne, and thanks to the good investment of the GPS system, “Karen” our guide headed us the the Hotel Domstern, a small boutique hotel located just near the Dom and the Hauptbanhof (Central Train Station). We all needed a bit of time for recuperation due mainly to a combination of jetlag and stress from the driving. This evening we headed away from the alleged “tourist trap” of the Old Town of Cologne, and made tracks towards the Wikitravel approved more authentic Koln bars to the North of the Train station. Luckily, Hotel Domstern was just three short blocks from the recommended place, so we headed for that without a second thought.

I’d read earlier the etiquette at Cologne bars. Beers are served in 0.2L glasses and they are known as Kolsch. Each of us three kids ordered a Kolsch (the legal drinking age here is 14 - as long as you’re with a parent). It’s a bitter taste, and not one any of us kids were super keen for more of. But it was fascinating to watch how the bar operated - or at least I thought so anyway. The two people who seemed to be servicing this place spent their time between shaking the hands of what were obviously old customers; telling people who were just coming in that they would have to wait their turn to sit down, and being given a Kolsch while they waited, and taking and giving customers their orders. We looked down at the menu (Speisekarte) worringly, and EVERYTHING was in German. Somethings we were about to make out. Root Beet was obviously roast beef, and Weinerschnitzel was Vienna-style Schnitzel. Somewhat disturbingly there was “Horse Beef” on the Speiserkarte, so we all settled for something safe each, before paying the bill and heading back to our little rooms here at the Hotel Domstern.